


Magic Tricks and a Question of Cuddling

by friendlyneighborhoodfairy



Series: i'm with them [41]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety Disorder, Cats, Communication, Conflict Resolution, Couch Cuddles, Gray just needs a hug, Happy Ending, M/M, Multi, Withholding Cuddles, but won't admit it, implied PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 16:38:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19816261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendlyneighborhoodfairy/pseuds/friendlyneighborhoodfairy
Summary: Natsu tries to cuddle Gray, and Gray gets prickly. When Natsu retaliates with distance and coldness, things escalate. Sting and Rogue try to stay neutral, but Natsu won't allow it.





	Magic Tricks and a Question of Cuddling

"Whatcha dooooing?" Natsu called, waltzing up to the counter where Gray was working and slinging an arm around him.

"Gah!" Gray jumped and shoved Natsu's arm off. "You made me mess up."

"Sorry." Natsu settled for kissing his cheek instead. "So what are we going to do about dinner? It's the first Friday of the month…" He grinned.

"Isn't it Sting's turn to pick?" Gray asked, still staring down at his project.

"I picked two times ago," Sting called from the living room. "It's your turn. You always come after Rogue."

There was a snort from deep in the armchair where Rogue was piled under two cats. Sting burst out laughing, but Natsu walked over to them and gave them a confused look.

"You guys think Gray lasts longer than me? Every time?" Rogue said, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh." Natsu laughed, then glanced back at Gray. "C'mon, love. Let's get date night started."

"Just a sec. Gotta finish…"

Gray, still staring at his project, didn't see the smile aimed his way, which was practically an affectionate cuddle in itself.

Padding over, Natsu kissed his cheek—then flicked his tongue out and tapped Gray's skin.

"Oi!" Gray batted and slapped him away, glaring at Natsu. "Did you just lick me?"

"You just pushed me away. On date night." Even though Natsu's pout was for show, the tone of his voice told the others he really was slightly hurt.

"Someone needs to cuddle a kitty," Rogue commented from his chair. Frosch mewled.

"Hard day at work?" Sting asked, eying Gray.

"No, and what does that have to do with anything? Anyway, this is going to take way too long, so I might as well stop now. I'm feeling Thai; that sound good to everyone?"

While Sting and Rogue nodded, Natsu crossed his arms.

"What?" Gray snapped.

"That's three times you shooed away my snuggles," Natsu said austerely. "No more kisses for you until you apologize."

"Natsu…"

"Apologize."

"Oh my god." Rubbing his eyes, Gray shook his head. "You know I have two other people I can get kisses from, right?"

"Nope," Sting said, glancing at Rogue to make sure he too was in solidarity.

"What? Why?"

Rogue raised his eyebrows. "Until you two resolve your conflict."

"Fine, Jesus, no more kisses," Gray grumbled, grabbing his jacket. "Until you forget. Let's go get dinner. I'm starving."

"I couldn't tell," Natsu grumbled.

Sting shot him a look, but didn't speak up. They'd all figured out that arguments went best if those outside the situation stayed outside.

* * *

Gray seemed to have chosen sullenness over snapping at his boyfriends anymore; around the table, conversation was pleasant as the other three carried it along on their own steam.

Food perked him up a bit. By the end of the appetizer he was joining in, and by the time they were halfway through the meal, he was smiling and just as invested as the others in the conversation—a deep discussion about whether or not anthropomorphizing food was okay for children's psyches.

Sting settled it by saying, "But anthropomorphic avocadoes can be so cute," to which Gray and Rogue both said, "Trump card," they all laughed, and Natsu excitedly asked if they wanted to see his latest magic trick.

"As long as it's not embarrassing," Rogue said, glancing around the restaurant.

"It's not, promise."

Several minutes later, the three of them were still trying to figure out how he was conjuring pennies from random objects on the table when he wasn't wearing sleeves.

"You're getting really good at these," Gray said, impressed.

Sting bit his lip, paused, then said, "Your…your ADD meds have really helped."

"Yeah. And it's less frustrating now," Natsu agreed. "I had so much trouble with card tricks. Remember?"

"Yes," Sting laughed. "You'd storm around the apartment swearing, and Rogue would ask me in hushed tones what had happened to you. Remember, love?" he asked Rogue. "Back in the old days?"

"Oh! Yes," Rogue laughed. "The first time, I thought you'd been verbally assaulted on the street or something. You were that mad."

Smiling, Natsu leaned his chin on his hand. "It's nice having my brain be quieter. I can tell the difference in how people respond to me, too, because I guess I make more sense now. And I don't do any irrational spending anymore. Eh, Gray? It used to be really bad."

He turned his smile on Gray, and there was a hopeful note to it, a vulnerable chink.

"You're awesome, Natsu. Meds didn't make you that way; they just honed it so the real you could shine brighter."

He smiled back, and it smoothed out previously unseen wrinkles at the table. But Gray's eye contact wasn't quite long enough, or something messed up in the crossing so that a full apology wasn't communicated. It was nice, but not enough.

* * *

Which was why Natsu still didn't kiss Gray all through dinner or even after they arrived home. He was affectionate to the other two in his usual ways—touching hands and shoulders, pressing kisses to cheeks; but Gray got smiles.

Gray acted like this was okay, but an observer could read the knots in his shoulders. Rogue in particular wondered how long this would go on: he wasn't going to not-kiss Gray for more than an evening.

Like most of their date nights, they flumped down in the living room casual and full. Natsu snagged the middle of the sofa, usually a coveted spot due to cuddles from both sides, and curled up against Sting. Rogue went to the armchair and the fuzzy pile that was Happy and Lector ("The kitties need cuddles too") while Gray took up his usual corner of the sofa. He was the only one of them who _had_ a usual spot, unless you counted Rogue's wherever-the-cats-were-sitting as a reserved seat.

It was normalcy with tension under it. Okay and not okay.

Conversation had lulled when Frosch jumped up on Gray's lap and started kneading him, booping his chin while he scratched her ears. Natsu watched Gray's soft expression and slow, timid affection with a hawklike vigilance.

Sting opened his mouth—

"What's going on, Gray?" Natsu asked. It wasn't a demand—far more gentle than that—but it was serious enough to get Gray to look (regretfully) up.

"It's…nothing."

Natsu narrowed his eyes, but Gray was focusing on the cat again, as if the rest of the world might fade from his perception if he tried hard enough.

While Rogue rose to make tea, getting their orders—one green, two herbal—Natsu readjusted in Sting's embrace, their heads together.

"I just…I need this," Natsu murmured. "It means a lot to me. Touching. And when you push me away, Gray…"

"Look who's talking," Gray said in a low voice.

Sting made a disgruntled noise.

"You think—" Gray took a breath. "You think I don't need it, too? You think it doesn't hurt me when you…"

He waved his hand at the distance between them.

"Yes, but… It's not the same as it is for me. I know everyone needs touch; for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I just wanted you to feel a tiny bit of how it is for me, I guess. Because when you brush me off, it makes me feel rejected."

At the hitch in his voice, Sting petted a hand through his hair, muttering, "Oh, baby. Never."

"I know I act tough." Gray's voice was tight and constricted. Frosch jumped off his lap. "I act like I don't need you guys, but I actually really do. Okay?"

"Then why did you push me away?"

"Because it makes me feel vulnerable," Gray snapped, hands squeezing in and out of fists. He sniffed.

When Rogue returned with a tray of mugs, he paused by the coffee table, concerned eyes on Gray.

Natsu carefully extricated himself from Sting and sat up, facing Gray across only a tiny space on the couch.

"Being vulnerable makes you feel vulnerable? That's what you're saying."

"Yes!"

"Wow, what a concept."

"It's okay to need people, darling," Rogue spoke up quickly.

"I know, but I just…" Gray's shoulders hunched in around himself. "Pretending I'm okay, not asking for anything, it makes me feel like I'm in control. Like—I don't know."

"Gray, what actually happened today?" Sting asked.

"It's stupid."

"I guarantee it isn't," Natsu said. "If it has you this worked up, then it's not stupid. Feelings don't have to be rational to be valid."

Gray sniffed again, and this time his composure slipped too, one hand coming up to rub his face.

Natsu was the first one of them to swoop in, arms wrapping around Gray and head tucking against Gray's as he pulled him in. Rogue came over and knelt in front of Gray, hands on his knees. Seeing the three of them, Sting moved across the couch and wrapped both Gray and Natsu into a hug.

"What can we do, love?" Rogue asked.

"I j-just had an experience today," Gray said, definitely crying now. "Meeting went really poorly and I got called out for something I didn't do, but it wasn't the right context to defend myself, and th-then when I got back to my desk suddenly someone let off one of those airhorns because it was Abby's birthday, and it just scared me s-so much. For no good reason, I just jumped, and it got my heart pounding, and…

"I wanted to panic or throw up or I don't know, and I was in the middle of work and I couldn't get to the bathroom without someone seeing…t-tears and so…I just had to pretend. I felt so f-fragile all day. Like someone was going to break me just by touching my shoulder or something, and then I'd be pathetic, because I'm not as strong as other people… And then I came home and Natsu, you snuck up on me…"

"I didn't mean to," Natsu said, defensive, then took a breath. "No, what I mean is, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you didn't know I was there."

"It's-s-okay," Gray sniffed, rubbing his nose while the three of them held him tighter.

"Except it isn't." Natsu shuffled back enough that Gray could see his face. "Gray, if I or any of us ever do something that panics you, it's okay to say something. We can even have a code word, just like our codes for sex. You just say, 'breathing room,' or something like that and we'll know something happened and to make sure we ask consent before touching you. Okay? Does that work, or is that too much for you?"

"No, that…I like that." Gray swallowed. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I'm such a mess—"

"You're allowed to be," Rogue interrupted, staring at Gray's knees while he ran his thumbs in comforting circles. "Everyone's got—We all—It's not—"

He huffed in frustration and looked up at them.

"I think what Rogue means is that everyone has baggage," Sting said, as Rogue nodded. "It doesn't count as 'messy' if everyone's that way, right? I guess you probably don't feel that; you probably feel pretty alone. But Gray, everyone has fragile days. Everyone has supposedly-stupid things set them off and get them in a mental state they don't like, or where they need space to calm down and sort themselves out.

"I'm trying to say it's not weird. And we— _I_ want to be the kind of partner who doesn't get in the way of your life. I don't want to be interference and static on your channel that grates on your nerves until you're ready to murder the TV. I want to be someone you can be with when you want to be with me and be away from when you want to be away, and whom you can tell what you need and I won't judge you."

"I want to be that too," Natsu said. "And Rogue is already that way."

"Hah," Rogue scoffed.

Gray smiled, wiping his eyes, and Rogue squeezed his knee.

"So," Natsu said. "Breathing room?"

"No, no…I'm okay," Gray said, surprised, as if he'd only just figured that out.

"Then can I kiss you?"

"Yes, you can kiss me."

As Natsu dove in, Gray smiled, laughing when Natsu peppered his face with kisses. Sting followed with kisses on Gray's neck, while Rogue pressed his lips to Gray's knees.

It was silly and giggly and a relief.

When they all backed off and caught their breath, Gray smiling widest of all, he held a hand out to Natsu.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away."

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"I…can't promise I won't do it again," Gray admitted, "but I'll try not to."

"Communicate it? That's enough for me."

"Okay."

Interrupting with a _mrow,_ Frosch leapt into their midst and lay down with her paws tucked between Gray's legs, her chin on Rogue's hand.

"Oops," Sting said suddenly. "We forgot about our tea."

**Author's Note:**

> _Natsu: Allow me to show you another magic trick of mine: heating tea back up.  
>  Rogue: What are you going to do, breathe fire?  
> Natsu: I'm going to use this magical thing called a microwave._


End file.
